Special Guest Post: Susan McBride is the adoring Aunt of niece, Audrey, and nephew, Evan, whom she enjoys seeing whenever she can! She is also author of LITTLE BLACK DRESS (on-sale now!), a magical tale of love, fate, and family. In a special author essay exclusive to Savvy Auntie, Susan writes about how Aunthood inspired her stylish new book.

I always thought I’d be a mom someday, maybe because my own mother is so great. But I wanted to be a published novelist even more. At 35, I finally was, and I loved writing and traveling to promote my books. Before I knew it, I was forty and single, at which point I stopped to ask myself, “What if you don’t ever get married or have kids?” That’s when I decided that whatever happens…happens. I’d be okay.

At 41, I met Ed, nine years my junior. My mom wanted grandchildren so badly she’d call and tell me, “If he knocks you up and leaves you, I’ll help raise the kid!” (No joke.) Ed didn’t knock me up, but he did ask me to marry him, just as I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 42. My mom stopped bugging me about babies. She only wanted me well.

Thank heavens, my brother and sister-in-law took the pressure off by producing my niece, Audrey (pictured with me above!), all blue eyes and blond curls. The first thing I bought Audrey was a pair of hand-painted book ends with books to fill the space between. Like her Auntie, Audrey became a devourer of words. As a toddler, she even recognized the novels I wrote. She would point to my picture on the back and say, “Aunt Susan.” Brilliant child!

Several years later, my adorable nephew was born. Evan loves running around the park, swinging, and quacking at ducks in the lake. After a few hours with him and Audrey, I’m exhausted. But it’s a wonderful exhaustion and far more fun than the gym.

When I wrote LITTLE BLACK DRESS last year, I thought a lot about family and what it means to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, and an Aunt. Because I had not been able to get pregnant, I related so much to one of the main characters, Evie, who desperately tries to have a child. As I wrote, I felt weepy, so much more emotional than usual (also nauseous and bloated).

Yep, at 46, I found myself pregnant. I didn’t believe it until I’d peed on five sticks. No wonder I’d broken down over Evie’s desire for motherhood. I was about to become a mom myself. Or so I thought until I had an iffy sonogram at seven weeks. Then, again like poor Evie, I miscarried, sending that dream crashing.  

Talk about life imitating art. I cried daily for weeks until I gently reminded myself that I’d achieved one dream already: writing books for a living. And, equally amazing, I have two little people I love who look up to me and whom I adore: Audrey and Evan. All it takes is one “I love you, Aunt Susan,” and I’m melting like a S’more-bound marshmallow.  

Whatever happens…happens. Maybe I’m not meant to be a mom. Maybe I’m meant to be a wicked fun Aunt. And, you know what? That’s perfectly okay.

By Susan McBride
For more information about Susan and her novels, visit her website.



Photos Courtesy of Susan McBride/ William Morrow
Published: August 24, 2011